Comments on: Why Women Relax Their Hair

By: Tayana

Tayana — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 21:59:13 +0000

Hi! I been relaxing my hair for years ! All that relaxing has done to my hair is damage it, make make my hair brittle and then. MY hair was so course that my mom would put on two boxes of relaxer. That sad thing is that it didn’t really relax the root of my hair. My hair was still curly. Thats what upset me! Right now I recently chopped off all my hair. I don’t have money to go to the beauty salon and have them manage my hair. For the past few months I have stayed away from relaxers, can’t afford them. Now I feel I am stuck. My hair is so course and curly that I can;t comb my hair. I am tender headed and combing my hair hurts. My hair gets really tangled and curly when I try combing my hair.Thats why I let my mom comb my hair. What I have been doing is hot ironing my hair but it takes the hole day. I’ve tried detangling my hair when I am shampooing , it hurts and my hair jut twist and tangle even more. Every time I washed my hair it would e get so tangle that it would get locked.My mother has been telling me that I should just let my hair lock and have dreadlocks. I don’t want dreadlocks. All I ever wanted out of my hair was to be able to comb it and pit in a ponytail. I can’t even do that now. So out of my frustration, I chopped of all my hair. I felt that if I cut my hair short that it would be easier for me to manage. What a lie? The roots of my hair is even curlier then before except shorter. The other day I tried to comb my boy short hair and the comb could not even pass through my hair because of the curls and kinkiness of my hair. I tried to brush my hair and hair was so rough, that brushing wasn’t doing a think. I have so much trouble with my hair, I just want manageability for my hair. Just to be able to put a comb through your hair and comb it. That was the reason that I used to relax my hair. Can anybody give me any advice on my hair?

By: Dean

Dean — Sat, 08 Dec 2007 07:13:38 +0000

I think this was a great article. Until i was older i didn’t really have the choice to not perm my hair. Then i joined the military and i always thought it was easier to keep it relaxed. My first deployment I didn’t have access to any relaxers (not even the box ones) unless i had it sent to me and i started loving my curls and bending some of the regs for our hair and nobody said anything to me. When i got home I had the relaxer cut out and never looked back. My sister (who is also in the military and relaxes) thought i was crazy at first but she totally supported it and even would help me find the regs regarding particular styles.

By: Rashid

Rashid — Mon, 29 Oct 2007 01:45:30 +0000

Great article…

By: Frances Campbell

Frances Campbell — Sun, 28 Oct 2007 01:34:13 +0000

In regard to my natural hair:

It is kinky, and relatively short, which means it draws up tight to my head when wet, but when pressed, reaches to my shoulders. When I see natural hair styles I like on television, I try to figure out how to produce them for myself. When I go to a stylist, she doesn’t know how or what to do to get the same effect, and doesn’t recommend a style to suit me.

My natural hair is soft and very kinky, with the texture of cotton. I learned a softening trick from a wedding guest this past summer, who told me to use World of Curls Moisturizer to soften my hair. It works! I haven’t gotten locks yet because they are permanent, and I truly want my hair to grow so that I can press it if I like. Weaving and braiding I don’t have a problem doing, either. Nor coloring. The thing is, I hate going to the beauty shop, and I don’t like paying high prices to get my hair looking decent. If I could find a stylist who knows natural styles and could deal with my hair regardless of the length, I would be so happy. But the natural hair stylists seem more motivated to get as much money as they can while the getting’s good, and don’t care whether they ever see you again.

I also have a problem with my hair looking unkempt in its natural state. I am of the “Afro” age, when my “fro” was big and bad and had a true symmetry. Today’s natural hair just doesn’t look that good when it looks dry and stucky, yes stucky, meaning sticking out all over the place, with no rhyme or reason. People don’t seem to know how to use a pick, or a comb for that matter. Ah, well, I guess I am too old to know better.

By: Umaja

Umaja — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 18:12:36 +0000

For me it was a matter of being healthier. I wanted to work out more and jogging is a passion of mine as well. I noticed after I worked out I was spending too much time on my hair espically in the mornings after my work out when I had to go straight into work after my workouts. I made the decision to cut it all off and go natural. It has been about over 7 years now since I made that decision and it is funny I get alot of compliments from caucasian women. Now I am starting to get some compliments from sisters as well. So that has been my journey.

Peace and Love
Umaja

By: Shay

Shay — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 17:58:44 +0000

First let me throw out my disclamer: I am not against the way any one wears their hair rather straight, curly, wavy , kinky,colored, etc…To each his/her own. It doesn’t affect my life one bit.
However I do feel that there is a very BIG misconception on natural hair which is why many women choose to keep their perm/relaxer instead of opting for the natural route. When many of us think back to the last time we had natural hair we revisit those Saturday evening sitting in the kitchen with a dried up and shrunken fro waiting for our mom’s to rake through it with an extremely hot comb. NO ONE wants to go back to those days so most women wouldn’t even think about going natural again. But times have changed so much. There is so much information out there now about how to manage our natural hair. There are also a lot of products that are great for our hair–products that were not around back in the day. Combing/detangling is not hard with natural hair as long as you are educated about your hair and know that you don’t comb through your natural hair unless it’s wet and always use conditioner/detangler. Managing natural hair is not as hard as it seems when you do the research.
I don’t have what is referred to as a “good” grade of hair (Personally I think there is no such thing as a bad grade but we know how a lot of people think). I am 100% natural and I have no problems managing my hair. Now–do I have bad hair days every now and then?–yes! But so does every one no matter what the texture. There are so many natural women who have so many different beautiful textures of hair that they wonder why they ever got a relaxer in the first place. That is one of the exciting things about going natural. You have to wait and see what your REAL texture will be (it’s kind of like waiting to see your newborn baby for the first time). It is much different from those new growth waves that creep up in between touch-ups. When some of us finally see our natural hair we find thick luscious curls while some of us find shiny springy coils and others find combinations of everything.

I think another common misconception is that our hair won’t grow past a TWA (teeny, weeny afro). Our hair grows in leaps and bounds when it is not being constantly mainipulated and chemically altered. Many of my natural friends have hair that is mid back to waist length and thick and strong. I have only been natural for 8 months and my hair is already shoulder length. There are a variety of different styles that we can wear our natural hair in without wearing it “down.” But should we feel the need to wear it “down” we can do that too!

For me, when I had a relaxer there was no such thing as “wash and go” hair. It was wash, blow dry, flat iron/roll hair. Never was I able to “wash and go” my relaxed hair. However since being natural, I can wash n go if I wan’t. I don’t have to blow dry or flat iron, or curl my hair. If I want to take a shower, apply my products and go, I can.

I think your natural experience is what you make of it. If you do your research and have a little patience it can be a wonderful head of hair. But if you like it straight then that’s okay too. There are many black women out there who can rock a relaxer and not experience the thinning and breakage cycles that so many of us have. Weigh your options and do what’s best for you!

By: Brenda

Brenda — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 15:32:17 +0000

I have chosen to stop using chemicals in my hair four years ago. The other alternative when wearing natural hair is wearing wigs and/or hairpieces. I have fine thin hair and when the weather is humid, I have not found any product that will keep my pressed or blown out (via blow dryer) hair from frizzing. I am open for suggestions. I live in Florida and there are more humid days in a year than not. I find that a good wig or hairpiece does the trick.

By: Tasha

Tasha — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 15:24:28 +0000

This was a well-written and insightful article. I totally agree with the concept that many women relax their hair to give them more manageability and diversity of style. If a woman has very coarse hair, as many of us of African descent have, should she be confined to wearing “boy short” styles because it may be too “kinky” to comb or wear it long? While I agree, there may be some women who loathe their natural coarseness and only see European straight hair as beautiful, I truly believe that a large number of women relax their hair for ease of management and convenience.

I have been wearing my hair natural for almost 5 years. And I LOVE the natural texture of my hair. I like to say that natural hair has more “character” than straighter hair because its natural patterning and texture is so unique, thick and full. However, I will admit that there are times when I miss my relaxed, straight hair. My hair is very curly and thick, isn’t too coarse to comb, and it has grown pretty long. But because of its natural thickness and curliness, I am very limited as far as styles go. I don’t want the commitment and permanence of locking it, and I’m not really that fond of twists or braids for myself. So there aren’t really that many styles to wear my hair. And although I do love the fullness and beauty of my natural hair, I do get bored with the few styles I have to work with. I’m sure a natural hair stylist could do some great things with it, but I cannot afford to have that done every so often. When my hair was straight, I could do all sorts of things with it - it was quick, it was easy, and I had many options.

So while I plan to be natural for the rest of my life because, aside from the limitations of styling, I really enjoy being natural, I do understand why so many women choose to straighten. Futhermore, it’s unfair for people to force their expectations and opinions about how anyone should wear their hair on other people. Our hair is as unique and individual as we all are on the inside, and we all have every right to choose whatever styles we feel reflect our inner selves.

By: CNE

CNE — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 14:56:26 +0000

I had no choice until I got older to have natural or relaxed hair. When I was younger, my mom simply decided that may hair was hard to deal with and that perming it make it more manageable. That thinking was also instilled in me. I used to see people with natural hair and think that I could never do that because my hair is to unruly or too hard to manage. Not to mention what it looks like when the humidity hits it. About 2 years ago I came to the realization that my hair breaks and is dry, brittle, and damaged because of many years of literally killing my hair with relaxers. So I decided to go natural. Even when going to a salon the hair dresser noticed how full of life my roots where while the relaxed hair felt limp and lifeless. I knew I was on the right track. I was ridding my hair of relaxers for the health of my hair. The hardest part about going natural is the transition stage, when you have the natural roots and relaxed hair. I could have easily made the big chop but I am used to having longer hair. Over the course of the two year I have found product to help me manage my texture. I would have to say that is the biggest part as well. Finding the right products are almost crucial for helping women make the transition. No matter how you decide to wear it, cut it, perm, it , lock it, Black hair is beautiful. We have some of the most versatile hair texture versus some of our white, Asian, and Hispanic friends who only have about one or two options. In the end, you have to decide what works for you and you only. If perming it works or if natural works, do it. We have to get out of this mentality of someone not being true to themselves. You are true to yourself when you do what works for you and you are happy. End of story!